Dancing at the Park

Audrey is a dancer. She loves to put on shows and imitate what she sees other people do. What she is doing here is sort of recreating a portion of a video she has where the actors put on the show "High School Musical." She is also a real character as can be seen in the clip. But I don't think I would want her any other way.

The Pledge of Allegiance

I am so proud of my little Pre-K. She has long since recited the Pledge of Allegiance, but this is the only time I captured her saying it on video. Audrey did a great job on it, and she is so cute! This was another locale on our "FunDay Monday" adventure.

The Dance at Chuck E. Cheese's

Yesterday was "FunDay Monday" with Audrey and I by which Audrey stayed home from daycare and Daddy didn't have to go to work!! Here is a funny dance performed at Chuck E. Cheese's, just one of our "locales" that day.

My Crazy Cousin

This is my crazy and fun cousin, Monica. Although she mostly lived two states away, we were generally very close to each other. My mom and I would visit her and my mom's brother and his wife quite often, even spending months with them during the summers. I even went with her and my aunt and uncle to Texas one summer and spent months with them and my aunt's family. We had so much fun together. She was so popular and easy going she had so many friends. I actually felt privileged to know her.

We had so many memories together. One summer and one experience specifically stands out in my mind as the ultimate in fun and experience with Monica. We decided we wanted to go to the neighborhood store and get something, but that neighborhood store in my opinion was really not that close to her house. I never got the hang out of riding a bicycle, but she knew how. So I got on the back of her bike, tried to hang on as best as I could, but about a block and a half later we found ourselves heading straight into a mailbox where we crashed and fell down. (We never told the neighbors whose mailbox we injured and fortunately no one was around.) Thereafter, every time we passed that mailbox, whether we were walking or driving past, we would secretly chuckle with each other about that incident. We had so much fun and laughs together! It was like we were brother and sister, rather than first cousins!

Since growing older we haven't kept in touch and go years without seeing or hearing from each other. Yet she attended my wedding and made the efforts to fly from California twice during my mother's illness and funeral service. I will always remember the sacrifices she made.

Did I mention that Monica is a recording artist? She has made several albums and made a name for herself when she lived in New York and is doing the same now in Los Angeles. She personally knows and hangs out with such people as Prince and Stevie Wonder! Hello!! Check out her blog link on my listing of blogs. She is a fascinating person and has done well for herself in the entertainment business. But no matter how famous she is or becomes, she will always be my little cousin who one day at her home came nonchalantly out of the bathroom with a streaming roll of toilet paper hanging from the back of her pants. Hilarious!!

Missing Her

I'm really missing my mother. I miss hearing from her, seeing her, and just generally knowing she's around. The nights between 8:00 and 10:00 are especially difficult because that is the time we would talk to each other on the phone most every night. Every night since the day she was hospitalized I have felt a longing to hear her voice. I always feel there's something I have to do and someone to call. And then a little bit of loneliness sets in because I have no one to call and no one calls me.

Right now I feel like I gave up on my mother at a time when she needed me the most. Even though in my deepest core I know this not to be true, I can't help but feel at times a little guilty and have a bit of regret. I hope I didn't disappoint her and that she is in heaven right now with a heart of understanding and love.

I know that she is in a much better place and is free of pain and suffering. I hope one day I come to a place where the guilt and regret become minimal. I hope one day I begin to realize that despite the tragedies of those three weeks, I will feel not the disppointment of my mother, but rather the understanding and compassion of a loving parent for her child who only wanted what would be best for her. Heaven is a place where, ever since I could understand the concept, she has always wanted to go to and be at. And I know that she is finally truly happy and at peace. Heaven's gain is certainly my loss.

My Courageous Mother

I'm giving this blogging thing a try at the encourgement of my first cousin Monica who visited me a couple of times over the past couple of weeks. I laid to rest my mother yesterday. I will post more about her, but to start with following is a tribute that I wrote and spoke at during her homegoing service:

As I have been reflecting over the past several weeks what seems like but a whisper of time with my mother, I have had many good memories of our life together. One of the most vivid memories I have was when I was a little boy and we would go downtown to spend the day together shopping and eating. Before the days of shopping malls and the unpopularity of public transportation, we would take the city bus from home to go downtown where she would purchase for me school clothes and classroom supplies for the upcoming school year. I would place my small, trusting hand in her loving and strong hand as we crossed the downtown streets. And as we shopped, we would visit such places as Woolworth’s or Miller and Rhoads to eat lunch. Both of these places are no longer in existence, but this particular memory will last forever. Not all of my memories were found to be good ones, however. There were some unpleasant memories that surfaced as well over the past weeks. Yet through the unpleasant memories and the good memories combined, I found a thread of unconditional love and support. Our relationship was a particularly close and tight bond. It is said that the bond between mothers and sons, or between fathers and daughters, is naturally close, but ours went beyond, it seemed, the normal closeness that is to be expected. We were each others defender and protector; we were each others biggest supporter and cheerleader; we were each others confidante and sympathizer. I’ve often thought that, specifically, the health issues that my mother had to bear were not fair or equitable for one person to go through. But through this and other struggles in the course of her life, I have discovered a woman who possessed an incredibly strong and unbreakable strength, a kind of love that was totally unconditional, a quest for excellence, and a generosity that knew no boundaries; not only for me, but for all those she touched. It is that incredible strength, unconditional love, not settling for mediocrity, and generosity that has flowed down from her and become a part of me. It will certainly not end with me. I have, and will continue to, display these same qualities to my own child to become a part of her. As long as life here on earth lasts, these qualities will remain a part of my family’s legacy. There is a place in my heart, Mom, that longs to hear your voice again and to feel the enthusiasm and love that was evident whenever we talked to each other on the phone or spent time together. I will greatly miss you, but I must not be selfish. You are now in a much better place -- a place you have longed to go to ever since I first knew you. Your eyes are healed and you can see with perfect vision; your mind is healed from all worries and struggles; and your body is healed from all disease and sickness. You have fought the good fight. You have finished the race. You have kept the faith. Now there is in store for you a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to you on that day who has longed for his appearing.